buelahman
lrose48What Has Happened To The One I Love?
Posted by buelahman on May 10, 2008
My first (and LAST) poem:
What Has Happened To The One I Love?
What has happened to the one I love?
The one that sent chills down my spine
Considering her heroic actions
The one that thrilled my soul knowing
What her people have endured and fought for.
That beacon of hope, trust and admiration
throughout the world?
That understanding that she (our America)
IS the standard bearer. The ideal
What has happened to the one I love…
What she has become under the lead of a few?
The merciless tyrant, torturously uncaring
Wrapped up in false flags… false hopes
Deluded by a false sanctimony,
“Fox’d” into self-superiority
telling her “she’s the greatest on the planet”
But I keep wondering by what measure.
Because she is “Christ’s Country”?
Crusading the Garden of Eden in search of Armageddon?
Defying all the Christ taught, lived and died for?
Calling light dark and dark light?
Are the blind leading the blind?
What has changed her… the one I love?
Or is it that I have changed?
Did I swallow the perpetual fear mongering
OR
Did I allow “Jingoism” disguised as “patriotism”
To swallow me?
What has happened to the one I love?
Find a mirror?
May 11, 2008 at 5:51 am
I asked Jack to respond here, because I want others (lurkers) to know that I want and actually ask for criticism.
The above remarks (REMOVED PER AUTHOR’S REQUEST) were the answer to that request.
But as I read, reread and rereread his comments, it appears to me that I did not express what I was trying to express, for his criticism is largely what I was trying to convey.
My entire premise is that I (in my own mind) have been the one that considers this country great (even though its history is one of carnage and murder). It is the one in the mirror that thought these things, but now has become more aware of truth.
His issue with religion went over my head, but I meant that the perception of Americans is that we are a Christian Nation and anything we do must be Christ-like or endorsed by God. I am not sure if Jack denies this or what his issue with the religion thingy is.
I am not asking for rave reviews of my poetry, but it is completely disheartening to me that I could not get that very simple premise across in those few words.
On another note, all the responses at the youtube channel have been positive, one saying that he doesn’t like poetry, but did like this one.
Go figure.
I suppose my “audience” is not poets or poet critics (for I know that I am a poor poet), but did everyone miss the point I was trying to communicate?
If so, then I truly am no poet (even a bad one).
Feedback?