B’Man’s Redneck HipHop Watch: E=MC Vagina

Show Me Your Genitals 2: E=MC Vagina

Another song for the ladies by Jon Lajoie.

Vote Maxine 08

more about “Hallmark.com: Products“, posted with vodpod

Why not vote for Maxine…
The other two choices suck big time!
Hope all is well with you and yours—
Lynda

Richard Noggin’ Saturday: John “Bush” McPalin

B’Man: I watch most of the speeches and festivites (wasn’t that heart-warming 9/11 video something?) last night and I felt as if there were a bunch of fake rich white people (and their many surrogates applauding) who are doing the best they can to make believe the past 8 years didn’t just happen.

They have a new decorated pit bull who can smile a lovely smile as she pulls your nutsack off your torso with a blood-curdling Ubangi scream… teeth bare… tongue wagging. One that could lie in your face and laugh as she turned away out of ear shod.

But, the “main attraction”, the stud Squid himself, John McCain was likely one of the most UNinspiring speakers I have ever heard. There were a few flubs, but his timing was horrible… stopping where he shouldn’t, continuing when he shouldn’t. He was tormented by the teleprompters and was frustrated as he went from looking left/right/center, then settling for DOWN at his notes.

There is a sure indication he is lying or hoping he just bullshit us. That is when he does that little creepy-assed smile of his.

I counted 12 (but I’m sure there were more). He was truly baffled and upset by the hecklers/protesters and smiled that shit-sniffing grin a few times on their behalf. Palin and Cindy both looked very uncomfortable during the protesters’ interruption (maybe I misunderstood the Cindy-Bot attack mode as uncomfortableness???).

But, not to pick on her, his old lady is just horrible as a speaker. I looked and listened and I just cannot see myself ever trusting a person like that. She is so damn fake, it is sickening. But so is her ole man.

TalkLeft had this write-up and thought it fit quite well:

John McCain Speaks

A condensed version of John McCain’s convention speech:

I want to thank the president for keeping us safe from more attacks like the one that he failed to prevent during his first term.

As a first lady, Cindy will rock.

I respect Sen. Obama. We’re both Americans. But only one of us was a POW.

After I win, I’ll work closely with any other patriot who was a POW.

My friends, please shut up with the “USA” chants. I have to finish this in prime time, before I get cut off for the local news.

I know it’s tough to be unemployed. If we didn’t have a government, you’d all still have jobs. Sarah Palin will help me do away with government.

Sarah Palin has a lot of kids, just like me. We could start our own little town in Alaska.

Change is coming. We’ll fix stuff. We’re maverick repairmen.

I fought corruption. You don’t remember that Keating thing, do you? I’m the only Republican who didn’t take money from Jack Abramoff.

Everything the crazy Democrats in Congress want to spend money on, I’ll veto. Everything. I swear I will.

I won the war in Iraq. The surge was all mine. I’d rather lose an election than see my country lose a war. Have you ever heard that before?

Let me give you the names of some people I’m fighting for. I can’t tell you exactly what I’ll do for them if I’m elected, but I’m fighting for them anyway. Mostly I’m fighting to get elected.

Republicans lost your trust by being corrupt. I want nothing to do with Republicans. I’m all about change. And Lincoln. And Roosevelt (not saying which Roosevelt).

Republicans believe in stuff. We believe in letting rich people keep their money. We believe in judges who don’t legislate from the bench unless they’re overturning laws that regulate businesses.

My opponent will raise taxes. (Boo.) He’ll increase spending. (Boo.) He’ll eliminate all your jobs. (Boo.) He won’t let you visit your doctor. (Boo.)

Unemployment compensation is outdated. We’re going to eliminate it. That will help the economy by forcing you to find a job, even if it’s at McDonald’s. In the meantime you can go to a community college to study fast food restaurant management.

We need to give parents a choice about which underfunded school their kids should attend. Rich parents will be able to send their kids to private schools, just like always. That’s change.

We’re going to cut the rest of the world off from foreign aid. That’ll make other countries stop hating us.

We’re going to drill, drill, drill. We’ll even drill in the back yards of all the nuclear power plants we’ll build. This will make our planet healthy.

It’s time to start new wars. Iran and Russia come to mind. That’s change. I hate wars, but I love to start them. We can only achieve peace by starting new wars.

I will reach out my hand to anyone who doesn’t bite it. I have scars. Call me Scarface. Obama is scarless. Can you trust a man who isn’t scarred?

Did you know I was a POW? No really, I was. I never loved my country until I became a POW. Wait, didn’t Michelle Obama get in trouble for saying something like that?

I don’t think I’m all that and a bag of chips like Obama does.

You should join the military or become a teacher or whatever so you can serve a cause greater than yourself. My cause is becoming president of the greatest country on Earth.

I’m going to keep talking through the applause in the hope that the broadcast network stations haven’t switched to local news.