B’Man’s Sabbath Watch: Easter Special Redux

Just want to share this: I just received my 1,000,000th hit on this blog. This is our 2,495th post. I started this in Nov of 2007.

Thank You For Putting Up With Us!

My biggest hitter ever was around 7,000 hits. But for some reason, this post from Easter 2009 is getting a lot of views this week. Maybe its the dead bunny picture. Maybe its me calling out Benny Hinn for his inability to heal his comb-over. Or, just maybe it holds some credence with readers.

Nonetheless, I want to share it again for those who never saw it. But before so, let me start with this bucket of bullshit:

Can you imagine any other maniac who could sit there and read a teleprompter speech so full of lies and distortions and STILL Americans swoon when he says such crap? If being a “Christian” means being anything like this monster, sorry, you can keep it.

My wife is in the kitchen early this morning putting little chocolate treats in plastic eggs for our 4 year old, who has already hunted Easter Eggs twice this week (once at pre-school and again yesterday at a local church that invited us to be a part of the festivities).

I don’t enter church buildings very often any more, for a lot of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is that I dislike being a hypocrite, so being a “Easter Sunday” church goer is something that I simply cannot be. Its all or nothing with me and the truth is that I cannot find anything resembling what the Christ taught in any of the churches or from the leadership of those churches. It is essentially mini man-made kingdoms who grab some little tag to use as their pull. As Saul/Paul noted, “What? Is Christ divided?”

Apparently so, into many hundreds, if not thousands, of sects and cults. Divided? Its a confetti at this point.

There were about 25 kids at this event (small church) and they put out over 600 eggs (my 4 year old found 53, which put her in second place to some little punk who had help from his parents)… cheating bastards… (I kid). Now, my daughter has this idea that the Easter bunny is Santa Claus Lite and my wife is stuffing even more chocolate into eggs… wtf?

Anyway, so right before the “egg hunt”, there was this little ole lady who took it upon herself to explain to all these children the significance of the egg hunt and bunnies on this occasion supposedly set up to recognize and celebrate a freaking torture/murder.

“Now this egg represents a new beginning”… “it can be dead or it can be a live chicken”… “When I was a little girl” (tears start falling), “my mother and daddy would take us to church and we would hunt real eggs that were decorated and then we ate them.”

WTF??????

I glanced around, looking at the faces of the kids and it was just like driving on the Natchez Trace at night (more deer in the headlights than you would ever imagine possible).

I could imagine them saying in their head’s, “Will you just shut up and let’s go outside.”

I am not dogging their beliefs, but it was clear that the basic agenda was to recruit BuelahLady and I to attend the church. Somehow, they got wind that we used to be leaders in a Methodist church (I actually was the Music Director and Associate pastor… yeah, whatever). In one of those “God things”, their Music Leader had recently left the church to expand her horizons at another church (they had a really keen choir, as it was told). So, basically, God provided a miracle, if we would just come to their church and take over some responsibilities that God gave us “gifts” to do and that we shouldn’t waste them… blah, blah, blah.

But the kicker was the pastor, who came up to me with this little sly, shit-eating grin and said, “You should come to the Easter service I’m preaching tomorrow. The sermon name is ‘Its time for the church to get nekkid’.” He then laughed and explained that he found this one obscure verse in Mark (but couldn’t remember Chapter, nor verse, which I considered strange after his little story).

He said, “I have never heard anyone preach on this verse”.

I said, “I have some teachings that I could share with you that I bet you never heard before.”

I could hear the buzz in his ears as his mind decided that my sentence was unworthy of attention and started right back where he left off.

Look, anyone can worship or go to church or whatever floats your boat. But, there is not a single religious leader in the world that I consider better than myself, in any way or circumstance. I refuse to put The Pope, Mike Huckabee, or even Mohammad himself on any pedestal, when their very followers are crazy f*ckers who betray the teachings of the ones they claim to represent.

Comb-Over: Heal ThyselfI mean really, if Benny Hinn has all those healing powers, why in the hell doesn’t he fix that comb-over? At the very least, that rug needs to be “slain in the spirit”.

Sorry, that is just the way I am.

So, Happy Easter, but beware of the cute little bunnies. I have a niece who lost the tip of her finger to one of these vile beasts (true story).

However, I would be remiss if I didn’t explain that these creatures do taste wonderful in chocolate…


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11 thoughts on “B’Man’s Sabbath Watch: Easter Special Redux

  1. i remember you posting the bunny picture…lol. Dang…. Naome was four. Zoooooom.. Time sweeps by. Hope you and yours are well… Think of all of you often.

    • Hey,

      I hope you’re doing well.

      When I noticed the uptick in the views of that post, the first thing I thought of was “Naomi was four!”. Its been a pretty long time since I started this and I am glad you have been on board (altho you hardly ever post any more). One of the all time biggest hitters was the spider bite post you did way back. We still get hits on that.

      But the Freaky Sex Friday posts still top them all…

      figures…

      So when is your next post coming?

  2. congrats on your millionth hit. I think it was me do i get a prize?
    But you make a lot of sense to us ordinary folks even here in England,because what happens in the states eventually arrives at our shores a few years later.
    covkid

  3. You are a hilarious morbid sunnuvagun and you crack me up. Like one of those eggs near that roadside bunny. As always it is your clear sighted common sense that you word so humorously…..

    Congratulations on your 1,000,000 hit!

    I passed mine awhile back and it was just a quiet positive affirmation that I had to be doing something right! We hope that our work strikes a chord in someone and that seems to make it worthwhile, non?

    SO… LOL… welcome to the little big league.

    (Grabs a chocolate egg and runs)

    • Thank you, Ma’am.

      I wish I could be my old “real” self, where humor is everyday life without the morbidity. Believe it or not, I used to be fun and funny. Now I just squeeze in a good snark every now and again. But the fun is gone, by and large.

      I am glad you are a part of what little I’ve done (I have learned from you and I have linked to you many times) and we obviously share similar viewpoints. But I don’t know what else to do, at this point. Except what we do, which is just to keep on keeping on.

      • Bingo, baby!

        BTW you and I are completely in sync with Alex Jones et al. That baby and the bathwater mentality is so very limiting! Same goes with icke and so many others, just Jones is sooooo out in the mind of America.

  4. Sounds almost like my experience with a “denomination”. Only difference, I asked the satonic question, “What does runnin’ laps around the inside of this “church” have to do with learnin’ what the Bible says?”, The preachers’ greatest fear had appeared. Someone that knew some about the Bible, and that someone was not afraid to ask him a question in public. So they t’wernt no deacon position gonna be offered to me!….lol

    • Hey Man!

      Did you go fishing the other day? I still haven’t wet a hook.

      I am glad you stopped in, by the way.

      I bet I have been kicked out of more churches than you have. My little medal of honor.

      LOL

      • Went to the spot for just a little while. Caught a few small ones. I would just about take that bet! A few that I went to was convinced that “I” was the anti-christ…Just because I questioned “their” traditions. When I saw that I was ruffling their feathers, that’s when the Redneck always came out. I liked to ask in my “native” tongue. “What fer ‘n why iz ‘at?….lol

  5. I can’t find the time, except for rainy days, to read much less post anymore. I had never read that post before this morning and I must say I loved it. I don’t do much anymore except work and hunt when I can. Got the boat ready and camped this week end, but the wind was @ 40mph, so I sat and watched the trees whip about. Hope to go out and wet a hook soon. This was the best year for the crappie and I just looked at pics and listened to stories. I have killed a turkey this year and have only been three times. Batting pretty good and don’t want to ruin the average, I guess. The band has been busy and I have got into relic hunting a bit. (civil war) Surveying Shilo Park will do that to ya. Congrats on the 1,000,000 hits. Hope you have a few more before its all over!

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