My Hero

Dr Doug’s Christmas Present For BuelahGirl Next Year

Dr Doug shared this with me yesterday and wondered if it might be a good idea that he get this for my daughter for next Christmas. The thought is that we should simply acquiesce to what our handlers tell us is needed to keep us safe and possibly inspire BuelahGirl to have this job as a goal when she grows up.

There were some interesting customers recommendations that helped us decide:

But one of the most interesting items found in the “Customers that viewed this item also viewed” section was this:

Is your first question, “What did the reviews say?” That was my first question and the customers didn’t let me down:

By the way: These ARE real items to be purchased.

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Did I rub you the wrong way or stroke you just right? Let me know below in the comments section or Email me at buelahman {AT} g m a i l {DOT} com

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All posts are opinions meant to foster comment, reporting, teaching & study under the “fair use doctrine” in Sec. 107 of U.S. Code Title 17. No statement of fact is made or should be implied. Ads appearing on this blog are solely the product of the advertiser and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of BuehlahMan’s Revolt or WordPress.com

Merry Christmas and Beware The Fat Man In a Red Suit

To all of BuelahWorld:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Times are tough and getting tougher, but today I simply want to thank you all for being here to read my rants and allow us to share our little bitch fests with you. My family had a wonderful time last night and I am now awaiting the fat man to arrive to finally squash BuelahGirl’s giddy anticipation.

As much as I bitch, I truly am a lucky man.

Bless you all!

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Follow @BuelahMan

Did I rub you the wrong way or stroke you just right? Let me know below in the comments section or Email me at buelahman {AT} g m a i l {DOT} com

If for some reason you actually liked this post, click the “Like” button below. If you feel like someone else needs to see this (or you just want to ruin someone’s day), click the Share Button at the bottom of the post and heap this upon some undeserving soul. And as sad as this thought may be, it may be remotely possible that us rednecks here at The Revolt please you enough (or more than likely, you are just a glutton for punishment??), that you feel an overwhelming desire to subscribe via the Email subscription and/or RSS Feed buttons found on the upper right hand corner of this page (may the Lord have mercy on your soul).

All posts are opinions meant to foster comment, reporting, teaching & study under the “fair use doctrine” in Sec. 107 of U.S. Code Title 17. No statement of fact is made or should be implied. Ads appearing on this blog are solely the product of the advertiser and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of BuehlahMan’s Revolt or WordPress.com

Miss Airport 2011

Rec’d via email from my friend Allison (not sure where this originated). Prepare for the Miss Mall 2011 and Miss Train Station 2011 editions coming soon.

If you like what you see here at The Revolt, please subscribe via Email subscription or by the RSS Feed button found on the upper right hand corner of this page and/or hit the Share Button at the bottom of the post to share via various means.

All posts are opinions meant to foster comment, reporting, teaching & study under the “fair use doctrine” in Sec. 107 of U.S. Code Title 17. No statement of fact is made or should be implied. Ads appearing on this blog are solely the product of the advertiser and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of BuehlahMan’s Revolt or WordPress.com

Job Hunting

Many may know that I am unemployed and have been looking for a job.

So, I figured I would try something out of my field of expertise, but feel I might be able to do:

I posted this to Facebook and a friend and I had this discussion:

B’Man: I need a job

Friend: well that doesn’t pay well but I guess you could sell the clothes. You do get to live in a nice place!!!! with lots of art and stuff!!!!

B’Man: The hat alone would buy a lot of groceries! Also, its about the same amount of sex, except now it is with a woman, not boys.

Friend: LMAO!!!!!! Well SOME say that is way overrated anyway!!!!!

B’Man: The bubble car is pretty cool… Does this mean I have to be Nazi?

Friend: YES!! The popemobile is cool!!! No i think you can be whatever you want to be. they don’t care.

B’Man: LOL. I have now offended the Catholics. Who’s next?

Friend: I heard something about smoke being involved so I guess you are allowed do get high. I know I would have to be to wear that outfit.

B’Man: I would photoshop a Mohammad pic, but they’d kill me for that.

Friend: No I think this is as far as I would go…You would hate to be the first of the class of 79 to be beheaded!!!!

B’Man: Yeah, but there are plenty of classmates that might enjoy that…

Friend: well it would make an interesting story at the next reunion and you know we would all be there to support you and have a large party afterward!!!!

B’Man: But who would video everything?

Friend: Someone will remain sober enough to record…I bet it won’t be a shock to any of our former teachers. They will be on CNN saying we knew this would happen one day!!!!

B’Man: Most of them thought I lost my head decades ago.

Friend: LMAO!!!!

I wish every interaction, discussion, and post here and on FB was fun and about having a good time (I need to be my old self, for those who truly know me, know me to be fun-loving and kinda funny). But nowadays, I mostly use both places as a means to bitch about what appears to be issues that most people are clueless that exist. But, damn it, we need to change this place so people, again, can have fun and know that the ones “in charge” are doing everything they can to make our country and the world better.

I miss the old me, but I can’t turn a blind eye to what is happening.

All posts are opinions meant to foster comment, reporting, teaching & study under the “fair use doctrine” in Sec. 107 of U.S. Code Title 17. No statement of fact is made or should be implied. Ads appearing on this blog are solely the product of the advertiser and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of BuehlahMan’s Revolt or WordPress.com

Maybe Its Just Me…

That’s God

I recently had a visitor who does cartoons and has a blog called, That’s God. What Church Doesn’t Teach You

I gotta say that this is some pretty funny stuff and makes you think, as well. Here is God’s latest (please visit and view all the cartoons):

America’s ObamaMania Explanation

Until Jonathon Turley posted the following, I could not understand how so many Americans could be so idiotically blind. This explains it all:

The True Obama High: Police Seize Obama Ecstasy Pills

Mario Guadalupe Saenz, 22, was arrested in Palmview, Texas after police found a bag of ecstasy pills that seemed strikingly familiar: they are shaped in Obama’s image. Other pills featured Homer Simpson. It turns out that that euphoria that you feel with Obama may be more chemical than political.

Many conservative pundits have pushed for Barack Obama to identify the drugs that he used in his younger days. But it now turns out that Obama isn’t doing drugs, he is the drugs. He literally makes you high…

More at the link.

Freak Sex Friday: Kid’s Jewelry, Vaginal Weightlifting and The Story

And as a bonus, if caught in a harrowing situation, getting out is all in the story:

h/t Miss Cellania

I Told You It Was A Wicked Garden

BuelahGirl said, “It looks like butt cheeks”.

She has never seen (and will never see, as long as I can prevent it) what I believe it looks like.

Happy Belated Penis Day

This is so whatever! My daughter sent it to me. We have decided we must go and celebrate too, the big worship of Males. [NOT] Geeeeeece. Is there no Va-G-G- Day??

March 15 was Penis Day in Japan .  Here are the photos. The actual festival is called Honen Matsuri. Celebrated every March 15 in Komaki, a town about 45 minutes north of Nagoya, Japan , this is the time of year where folks haul out a large wooden penis to give three cheers to fertility and renewal. The custom is an old one that is connected to bringing about a good harvest and having babies.

The BuelahFamily Is NOT Scared Of Swine Flu

Here’s how we overcome around here:

BuelahGirl's Swine Flu Remedy

j/k (h/t My Specialist)

Making Sandwiches

h/t o0jocelyn0o

Richard Noggin Saturday: Barack “W” Obama- Eagerly Following In Evil’s Footsteps

You rednecks still proud of your Corporately appointed president? Still going to defend him even when the very base promiselie he made to get you gullible sheople to elect him is now a historical side note? Of course John McCain would do the same shit, he just has no gravitas to pull off the lie, as did Mr Obama. But this ain’t about them anymore, is it? This is about us rednecks who are apparently too stupid to realize that both of the corporately funded parties don’t give a rat’s ass about us (unless, somehow, it is politically expedient). But nowadays, their blatant lies and deceit isn’t even really hidden. They wore your asses out with numbnuts “W” and gave you Mr Suave to give you the illusion of sanity, but guess what… its the same old, same old when it comes to military policy (and quite a few other policies endearing to their Masters).

Here is the deal in a nutshell. Mr Obama smoothly fills you a line of shit, and you swallow. You are desperate for a hero, but, of course, he is in a desperate place right now, for the country is falling apart all around him. Thank God he has advisers that make sure that those in power (the Corporate Elite, ie… Big Money) are well taken care of and that their ultimate goal of world power and hegemony is served. For each and every redneck needs to understand one simple fact:  Mr Obama’s country (hence, YOUR country), come hell or high water, IS going to steal the world’s energy sources. That’s a Fact. It is the purpose of those who actually run things to make us and keep us an Empire. Until this one basic issue is resolved, NOTHING can be healed.

Even the suave and sophisticated Barack Obama must serve this purpose. Even if he wants to do differently, he won’t.

Look here. There are “officially” 860 US military bases scattered throughout the world, according to the Penatgon. But David Devine points out:

Officially the Pentagon counts 865 base sites, but this notoriously unreliable number omits all our bases in Iraq (likely over 100) and Afghanistan (80 and counting), among many other well-known and secretive bases. More than half a century after World War II and the Korean War, we still have 268 bases in Germany, 124 in Japan, and 87 in South Korea. Others are scattered around the globe in places like Aruba and Australia, Bulgaria and Bahrain, Colombia and Greece, Djibouti, Egypt, Kuwait, Qatar, Romania, Singapore, and of course, Guantánamo Bay, Cuba – just to name a few. Among the installations considered critical to our national security are a ski center in the Bavarian Alps, resorts in Seoul and Tokyo, and 234 golf courses the Pentagon runs worldwide.

Of course this doesn’t address the ones we have here in the US, nor am I suggesting that each and every foreign base needs to be shut down at this time (for each should be evaluated on its own purpose). But 268 in Germany alone? Give me a break.

If that breakdown isn’t staggering and eye-opening, I am afraid you will never get it. If you will insist to me that all of these are needed in this time of economic hardships here, within our borders, or that “it is because of the military we owe our freedoms” (as if this justifies spending any and every amount they ask for), then you are a reckless (and clueless) person. We need our military to defend us, not to secure an energy source we are stealing from another country or to prop up a failed Cold War mentality. We don’t need many of those bases and untold amounts of money could be used here, in America, where we need it.

I will also point out that we NEED our militia (National Guard) home NOW. Their entire purpose is to be here instead of the US Forces that are training to do this. Do you wonder why they would be training American combat forces to “help” American citizens when we have  a National Guard who should be doing this, yet many of them have or are now serving in combat?

Mr Obama’s “residual force” (suave speak for troops left to protect our energy thievery) is 50,000 (according to Dandelion Salad’s link). Of course his peanut gallery full of Obamamaniacs will scream that this is what he always meant in his rhetoric. That “combat troops” and “residual forces” are somehow NOT the same thing (when the very basis for their being there is to protect “our resources“; at least according to the “scariest dude I know” tally whacker on Glenn Beck’s show, as if anything in Iraq belongs to us now that we mistakenlypurposefully invaded their country over mistakenfalse pretenseslies).

This is the epitome of Jingoism (or spread-eagleism). If you believe that any thing in Iraq, oil or whatever, is ours, then you are no true patriot. And neither is “the scariest dude I know”, along with every other nincompoop who suggests such a thing. Because I guarantee this, if the shoe were on the other foot (and some asshole Empire invaded the US) your whole story would be different. You would be pissed and you would do something about it (because the shit in America is American). At least a true American Patriot would. And this means that a true American Patriot would understand the plight of those who have been done so wrong for such admittedly bogus reasons and would stand up for them, the innocent.

It used to be that southerners were very patriotic (when the word meant more than just garbling up whatever their preacher told them is patriotic). Now we believe that a flag pin or a flag bumper sticker, along with believing anything the lying leaders tell us is enough to be “patriotic”. But patriotism isn’t nationalism or trusting and believeing what your “leaders” tell you.

Socrates pondered:

“patriotism does not require one to agree with everything that his country does and would actually promote analytical questioning in a quest to make the country the best it possibly can be.”

In other words, a True Patriot will actually Question everything analytically and not just believe their leaders or what his country does elsewhere in the world. Especially when it goes against everything that this country was founded upon. Just read the constitution to get a feel for what I’m talking about. You never know what you might learn.

Setting The Standard: My New Goal In Life

How 'bout one of you ladies tonguing those ears...

The World’s Longest Ear Hair

http://www.thesun.co.uk

Officially recognised by Guinness in 2003 as having the longest ear hair in the world, Radhakant has carefully coifed his ear-folicles from 13.2cm to their current ear-itching length.

Considered by Radhakant, 58, to be symbol of luck and prosperity, his incredible ear-hair has been growing since he was 18 and more importantly has never been cut.

He added: “Before people would tease me, not maliciously, but still would ask me why my I never cut my ear hair.

“Now I tell people with pride about the good fortune that my hair has brought me.

“I am sure that no one in the world has ear-hair longer than mine and my hair is almost double the length of the first record I set in 2003.

“We are currently waiting for confirmation from Guinness that my ear hair, which stands at 25cm is now the new standard for men with extreme ear-hair.”

via Disinfo.com – The World’s Longest Ear Hair.