Here’s One For The Good Guys… er, Girls

Get him, Girl

Get him, Girl

Thugs attack two transvestites… who turn out to be cage fighters wearing fancy dress

By Daily Mail Reporter

Two thugs who attacked what they thought were a pair of transvestites picked on the wrong men – when their intended victims turned out to be cage fighters on a night out in fancy dress.

Dean Gardener, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, singled out the two men walking along a street in wigs, short skirts and high heels.

Bare-chested Gardener was caught on CCTV confronting one of the men in a pink wig, black skirt and boob tube – then seen swinging a punch, a court heard.

But the other cage fighter, wearing a sparkling black dress and matching long wig, sprang to his friend’s help, delivering two lightning-quick punches to the two stunned yobs.

The cage fighters were then seen teetering away in their high heels, stopping only to pick up a clutch bag they dropped during the melee…

h/t Daily Rotten

B’Man’s Sabbath Watch: If You Can’t Kill The Demons, Marry Them

It’s Sunday and do you know where your children are?

DC mom accused of killing 4 daughters cited demons

(AP) – A woman accused of killing her four daughters told police in an interview that the girls were possessed by demons and that she got rid of most of the family’s possessions to contain the evil spirits.A District of Columbia Superior Court judge spent a second day Tuesday reviewing a recording of a police interrogation of Banita Jacks. The decomposing bodies of Jacks’ daughters—ages 5 to 17—were discovered in January 2008 when U.S. marshals came to evict her from her southeast Washington home.

Judge Frederick Weisberg was to decide whether to admit the interview as evidence in her trial. Jacks’ attorneys want it excluded. They say police were trying to get a confession from her before they had evidence that she was responsible.

Weisberg will decide the case without a jury at Jacks’ request.

Jacks’ lawyers have urged Jacks to use an insanity defense, but she has refused. Weisberg has found her competent to stand trial.

In the videotaped interview, Jacks said the girls stopped being her daughters and took on the identities of the demons.

“They got so bad,” she said.

She said her eldest daughter, Brittany, was possessed by a demon she called “Jezebel,” a prostitute who caused suffering and spread disease.

“With demon possession, you are a demon, period,” Jacks says on the recording.

Jacks said Brittany would fight her and she had to fight back. She said her younger daughters made horrible “screeching” noises and caused other problems.

Authorities have said Brittany was stabbed to death, while the others were strangled.

Jacks said the demons clung to her possessions, so she had to get rid of them to purge the demons from the house.

But Jacks said she had nothing to do with the girls’ deaths. She told detectives that her daughters inexplicably died one by one in their sleep.

“It wasn’t me,” she said.

When police questioned her about blood they found in Brittany’s room, Jacks insisted there was none.

As each of the girls died, they finally became separated from the demons, she said.

Jacks spoke in a faint voice during the interview, at times rambling or pausing. At one point, when detectives asked what she would say if the medical examiner determined Brittany had died of stab wounds, she replied that she would rather consult a lawyer before answering. However, she continued to talk about other things.

Later, after the autopsy report came in, detectives asked Jacks why her account didn’t match the finding that the girls were killed. She repeated a phrase she used many times during the interview: “None of this makes any sense.”

“This whole story is wild,” she added.

h/t Breitbart.com & Daily Rotten

US evangelist ‘married’ under-age girls, court hears

Tony Alamo, 74, who at one time turned his ministry into a multi-million dollar business, has denied taking young girls across state lines for sex at his trial in Texarkana, Arkansas.

On Wednesday, one of his former wives told the court that the preacher had so many partners that he scheduled how often he would have sex with each of them.

The 30-year-old woman, who married Alamo when she was 15, said she began to have doubts about him when she was an adult after he graphically described sexually abusing an eight-year-old holding a stuffed animal.

She told the court that Alamo said she should not question what “the Lord told me to do”.

The woman, a third generation follower of a movement that some have dubbed a cult, said “Papa Tony” segregated children at his religious compound by gender to prevent what he called “hanky-panky”.

The children were not allowed to attend normal schools but were instead sent to classes approved by Alamo, who exercised a similarly rigid control of the adults in his flock, the court heard.

Alamo was jailed for four years in 1994 for tax evasion. The authorities raided his compound in south-western Arkansas in September last year.

If convicted, he faces 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine on each count.

Alamo, who was born Bernie Hoffman of Jewish parents, set up the Alamo Christian Foundation with his late wife, Susan, in Hollywood in 1969.

They built it into a very profitable organisation that included its own syndicated television show and even a line of “Tony Alamo” brand sequinned denim jackets.

Alamo’s teachings include the imminence of Armageddon and the collusion of the Pope and the US government in a Satanic conspiracy that was responsible for Pearl Harbor, the 9/11 attacks and the assassination of John F Kennedy.

Alamo claims the current trial is part of this Vatican-led conspiracy against him.

The trial continues.

h/t Daily Rotten

I wonder if some of you that are demon chasers agree with this tactic. Hell, even in The Exorcist, they weren’t quite as bad as the mom above. But I would imagine that those true Demon Chasers saving the world might agree that at least this woman has nothing else to worry about from her “demons”, right? Job done, hire her and move to the next ones.

Or better yet, like many other countries seem apt to do, just marry them off to the Gawdly Man from Texas and he will pound the Demon out of them (every night, probably).

On a side note, how many of you that gave that man money are glad you did? Would you defend it like you did after giving to Swaggert or the Bakers?

If there were a hell, I’d like to know these folks were going there. Unfortunately, jail time is all they get (and I hope it is “forever and ever”).

The Most Appropriate Time To Tase Someone?

If this ain’t the time, I don’t know when is:

Naked man, covered in feces Tased after truck burglary

Daily News

DESTIN — A man walked out to his vehicle June 6 to find a naked man sleeping in his truck.

According to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, the nude man was 27-year-old Shane Albert King.

King had entered a 1995 Ford Explorer first and pulled out all the contents of the glove compartment before moving on to a Ford F-150 to do the same.

When a deputy arrived at the scene shortly before 7:30 a.m., he tried to wake up King and saw there was feces throughout the interior of the truck and all over King, the report said.

As King woke up, the deputy quickly placed him in handcuffs and assisted him out of the truck, the report said. The deputy also wrote that King had open sores all over his backside and legs.

King began to yell, “(Expletive) you, pigs. I’ll (expletive) all over you too. I’m going to throw my (expletive) in your mouth.”

The report said that’s when King began reaching down toward feces that had gathered on his leg. Both deputies that were on scene placed him on the ground. King began to kick and pull away from them.

One deputy told King to be still or he would be Tased. King replied, “Tase me, mother (expletive).”

King continued to resist and the deputy removed the cartridge from his M26 Taser and applied a five-second cycle to King’s right side.

King was arrested on felony charges of burglary to a vehicle, resisting arrest with violence, criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs.

h/t DailyRotten

WTF Thursday: I Double Dog Dare You

I am not sure what it is about those of us who invite the challenge of a dare, but I have been one of those that would accept most anything, as long as the challenger was willing to do the same or similar thing upon my dare. A dare for a dare, as it were.

After being dared to pick mushrooms out of cow shit to eat them, in response, I dared a guy to jump from a structure that was about 5 feet away from some giant pine trees, except that we were at least 30 or 40 feet above the ground. He was to jump from a railing and grab the tree (and climb down).

He apparently didn’t understand the gravity of gravity, because when he made it to the ground in only about 3 seconds of flesh tearing descent (and almost lost a nipple to the pine’s hard bark), he had to go to the hospital. He didn’t have a shirt on (and I was tripping and laughing so hard). It could have killed him, of course (but so could have the mushrooms killed me).

My youngest brother made a killing off of eating spiders alive ($10 or $20 per spider). I remember sitting in my living room one day while he was visiting and I saw a spider run across the carpet and all I had to do was say, “$10″. He jumped down, grabbed the spider and ate it. Simple as that.

But I bet even he wouldn’t eat a pig ball…

Plano teen eats fetal pig parts on classmates’ dare

By MATTHEW HAAG / The Dallas Morning News
mhaag@dallasnews.com
Some kids will do anything for money.

Last week at Shepton High School in Plano, a ninth-grader agreed to eat parts of a fetal pig – and not just any parts – for $50.

The second-period biology class was wrapping up a third session on dissection when a couple of students proposed the dare.

“What was I eating?” the boy recalled asking.

Testicles, the students replied.

He gulped them down one at a time, he said, trying not to bite down.

“It was just like swallowing a pill,” said the 15-year-old, who is not being identified because of his age. “It wasn’t that bad.”

School officials, who declined to comment, apparently took a different view, especially because the pigs are soaked in formaldehyde, a toxic chemical used to preserve the tissue.

They called the boy’s mother, who couldn’t be reached for comment, and a trip to the hospital followed.

“She said, ‘How could you be so stupid?’ ” the boy said.

After the hospital, he said, he went home and brushed his teeth – three times.

He said he collected $40 but owes his mom $100 for the hospital visit.

“It wasn’t very smart,” the boy said.

h/t Daily Rotten

Little Gav

chestburster

I don’t know what I’d do without Daily Rotten.

Plumber ‘gives birth’ to twin in scene reminiscent of Alien

Gavin Hyatt, 30, explained that the lump forced its way out after lying inside his abdomen since he was born.

Medics said the 4cm growth was a parasitic twin that died in the womb early in their mother’s pregnancy.Mr Hyatt, a former firefighter, from Witney, Oxfordshire, said: “Four hospital doctors had previously examined me and were all puzzled by the lump.

“Some thought it was a cyst, others an in-grown hair.

“Then one said it could be my undeveloped identical twin that I absorbed at a very early stage. I feel absolutely fine now but it has not sunk in yet that I could have had a twin brother. I have him in a jar at home and I call him little Gav. I haven’t told many people. I feel like a bit of a freak.”…

Yeah?

(Read more about Little Gav here)

Hohenwald, TN Murderer Deathbed Confesses…

Then figures out he will live, but in prison for the rest of his life. h/t Daily Rotten

SHAWNEE — A man who thought he was going to die confessed last week to a decades-old slaying.

James Brewer, 58, didn’t die. Instead, he found himself Monday in a Tennessee courtroom facing a murder charge. Authorities say he killed a man he thought was involved with his wife in 1977.

Brewer, a Shawnee resident, was in an Oklahoma City hospital early last week when his wife called the Shawnee Police Department, saying her husband wanted to confess to a murder.

“He wanted to cleanse his soul, because he thought he was going to the great beyond,” Shawnee police detective Tony Grasso said.

Grasso interviewed Brewer at the hospital, but Brewer had trouble communicating because of the stroke he suffered. In the beginning, his wife agreed to translate for him but decided partway through the interview that they needed an attorney, Grasso said.

Grasso photographed and fingerprinted Brewer and contacted authorities in Tennessee.

Brewer surrendered to Tennessee authorities on Thursday. He appeared in court Monday with the same lawyer he had almost 32 years ago. He is being held in lieu of bail. A bail hearing is set for March 30.

For almost three decades, James and Dorothy Brewer had been living in Shawnee under the name of Michael and Dorothy Anderson, authorities said. Dorothy was sometimes referred to as “Dolly” or “Dot.”

The couple lived in a modest home on the south side of Shawnee. Brewer had worked at Central Plastics, a manufacturing plant, until a previous stroke about three years ago.

Brewer was arrested after the April 27, 1977, shooting death of Jimmy Carroll and charged with first-degree murder. His $50,000 bail was reduced to $10,000. When he was released on bail, Brewer legally changed his name, and the couple left for Nashville, Tenn. They later moved to Texas and then to Shawnee, where Brewer worked as a machinist for 17 years and where they raised their daughter.

“It was easy to legally change your name in 1977,” Lewis County, Tenn., Sheriff Dwayne Kilpatrick said.

Brenda Buie, Carroll’s younger sister, said she hopes this is the beginning of the end.

“I never thought this day would come,” she said.

Buie was at the hearing Monday and said James Brewer and his wife didn’t show any remorse or speak to the Carroll family.

Buie said Dorothy Brewer was at the center of the dispute between the two men.

There were rumors that James wanted to kill Jimmy, rumors that Jimmy never took seriously, she said.

Buie said the Carroll family will meet with the district attorney’s office this week about charges against Dorothy Brewer.

Carroll was a divorced father of twin 5-year-old boys at the time of his death.

“They don’t hardly remember their daddy,” Buie said, referring to her nephews. “I was 20 at the time — it’s imprinted in my mind.”

What happened?


About 4 p.m. on April 27, 1977, James and Dorothy Brewer pulled up in front of a service station in Hohenwald, Tenn. Carroll was inside the store waiting for his mother to pick him up, Buie said.Carroll learned Brewer wanted to talk to him, but friends warned the man as he approached Brewer’s vehicle, she said.

Carroll was shot twice — once in the abdomen and once below the left shoulder — with a handgun. After the shooting, Carroll walked back into store, fell down and died at the scene, Buie said.

“He left him (Carroll) lying in a pool of blood,” said Kilpatrick, the Lewis County, Tenn., sheriff.

America’s Number ONE!

May every redneck bow his head and thank the good Lord for the blessing he bestowed upon us this wonderful March day, when He showed us (via Rueter’s UK and Daily Rotten) that America outshines the world in the number of its citizens that are in the “Corrections System“.

America is certainly God’s country.

Cost of locking up Americans too high – Pew study

WASHINGTON, March 2 (Reuters) – One in every 31 U.S. adults is in the corrections system, which includes jail, prison, probation and supervision, more than double the rate of a quarter century ago, according to a report released on Monday by the Pew Center on the States.

The study, which said the current rate compares to one in 77 in 1982, concluded that with declining resources, more emphasis should be put on community supervision, not jail or prison.

“Violent and career criminals need to be locked up, and for a long time. But our research shows that prisons are housing too many people who can be managed safely and held accountable in the community at far lower cost,” said Adam Gelb, director of the Center’s Public Safety Performance Project, which produced the report.

The United States has the highest incarceration rate and the biggest prison population of any country in the world, according to figures from the U.S. Department of Justice.

Most of those in the U.S. corrections system — one in 45 — are already on probation or parole, with one in 100 in prison or jail, the Pew study found.

Those numbers are higher in certain areas of the country, and Georgia tops all states with one in 13 adults in the justice system. The other leading states are Idaho, where one in 18 are in corrections and Texas, where the rate is one in 22. In the nation’s capital, Washington, D.C., nearly 5 percent of adults are in the city’s penal system.

This was the first criminal justice study that took into account those on probation and parole as well as federal convicts, Pew said.

cont here

Lord, since we know how much you dislike dope and much prefer a little vino, the numbers of prisoners and those in the “Corrections Systems” that are there for that vile weed are the ones that have put us over the top to Number One, while your winos are hanging out on the street corners and living rooms everywhere.

Thank you, Lord, for protecting us from all those dope heads who couldn’t measure up to those that became presidents and Olympic Swimmers and some of the greatest minds that this planet has produced. It is by the loser dopehead’s sacrifice that the prison system and those who own it can be blessed so very much that we have succeeded in this wonderful milestone as a country.

Thank God for America. God Bless America! America Number 1!

WTF Thursday: A Fitting End For A Scumbag

A Fair Warning from BuelahMan. If any son of a bitch thinks that he can rape my daughter and live… think twice. For the soul that ever tried it will not live long. I have nothing else to live for, except my wife and daughter.

So, when I see this kind of shit, no matter how much I am against  murder and causing horrific pain in another human, I cheer a lady like this on. The scumbag deserved even worse. He is not truly “human” if he so disregards another person in this way. The world is better off with him dead. That is a fact.

h/t Daily Rotten & Telegraph.co.uk

Mother sets fire to her daughter’s gloating rapist

By Peter Upton in Alicante

A Spanish mother has taken revenge on the man who raped her 13-year-old daughter at knifepoint by dousing him in petrol and setting him alight. He died of his injuries in hospital on Friday.

Antonio Cosme Velasco Soriano, 69, had been sent to jail for nine years in 1998, but was let out on a three-day pass and returned to his home town of Benejúzar, 30 miles south of Alicante, on the Costa Blanca.

While there, he passed his victim’s mother in the street and allegedly taunted her about the attack. He is said to have called out “How’s your daughter?”, before heading into a crowded bar.

Shortly after, the woman walked into the bar, poured a bottle of petrol over Soriano and lit a match. She watched as the flames engulfed him, before walking out.

The woman fled to Alicante, where she was arrested the same evening. When she appeared in court the next day in the town of Orihuela, she was cheered and clapped by a crowd, who shouted “Bravo!” and “Well done!”

A judge ordered her to be held in prison and undergo psychiatric tests, provoking anger from friends and neighbours, who have set up a petition calling for her release.

Soriano suffered 60 per cent burns in the attack on June 13 and was airlifted to a specialist unit. He survived for 11 days before succumbing to his injuries.

It is understood that the woman, who cannot be named because of laws safeguarding the identity of rape victims, claims to have no recollection of the attack which took place in the Bar Mary, just 300 yards from the family home.

As decorators painted over the blackened walls of his bar last week, Antonio Ferrendez Lopez told how Soriano had walked in at lunchtime.

“The place was packed with people eating. I was sitting at a table and Soriano was standing at the bar very close to me when the woman walked in,” he said. “She didn’t acknowledge anyone but walked up to Soriano, who was drinking a coffee, put her hand on his shoulder and turned him round to face her.

“Then she pulled the bottle she was carrying from under her arm and began to tip it over him. At first I didn’t realise what was happening, but then I smelt the petrol. I jumped up and tried to grab her, but when she struck a match I got clear.

“The petrol was in a pool around Soriano, and she threw the match into it. It ignited with a whoosh, and he screamed and staggered about covered in flames. As people rushed outside to escape the flames, she just looked at him, then turned and walked away.”

Customers helped Mr Lopez put out the fire with extinguishers and doused Soriano with water until paramedics arrived.

Soriano’s attack on the woman’s teenage daughter took place in 1998. The girl was going to buy a loaf of bread when Soriano snatched her from the street, threatened her with a knife and raped her. Her mother is said to have suffered mental illness ever since.

Soriano was convicted of the rape and ordered to serve 13 years in jail. The sentence was later reduced to nine years on appeal.

The woman’s lawyer, Joaquín Galant, told The Sunday Telegraph last night: “The family has suffered a double tragedy. First the attack on their daughter and now this. Both the father and his daughter would like to express their sadness at the death of Soriano.”

Earlier, Mr Galant said that the woman did not deserve to be kept in prison. “For seven years she has been deeply affected by what was done to her daughter,” he said. “This man, fresh from prison and asking how her daughter was, might be considered to have provoked her.”

In other news, Friday is sausage day in the Monroe prison cafeteria

Prisoner amputates penis at Monroe prison complex

MONROE — A convicted murderer at the Washington state prison complex in Monroe was hospitalized after his second attempt to cut off his penis.

A spokeswoman for the Monroe Correctional Complex, Cathy Kopoian, says the 49-year-old inmate has a history of mental illness and already had amputated much of his genitals several years ago.

Corrections Department spokesman Chad Lewis identified the inmate as John Forrester

Forrester apparently used a razor blade to cut off what remained on Thursday. Kopoian tells The Everett Herald that he was taken to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle with serious cuts to the groin. His condition was not immediately available Thursday night…

Where to start? He had already cut off what remained? WTF does that mean? h/t Daily Rotten, original source is The Seattle Times.

(The title of this post comes from a commenter at the Seattle times  site called kil4stn… which, to me, is the funniest comment imaginable for this story)

Kidney Cootch

Generally weird and amazing, I didn’t realize that things like this were meant to come from this orifice (h/t Daily Rotten):

Surgeons remove healthy kidney through donor’s vagina

(CNN) — In what is being heralded as a “first-ever procedure,” surgeons removed a healthy kidney through a donor’s vagina, the Johns Hopkins Medical Center has announced.

Although the procedure has been previously done to extract cancerous and nonfunctioning kidneys that threatened a patient’s health, the January 29 surgery was the first time it was done for donation purposes, the center said in a news release issued Monday.

“The kidney was successfully removed and transplanted into the donor’s niece, and both patients are doing fine,” Dr. Robert Montgomery, chief of transplant surgery at Johns Hopkins, said in the release…

(cont here at CNN)

For Those Of You Who Eat Testicles And Get Sick… Fugu!

eat_balls

Let me explain something to you rednecks. Testicles are not something that normal human being ingest (altho a lick every now and then never hurt anyone… hint, hint). If you find some sudden urge to eat testicles of any sort, especially the testicles of the poisonous blowfish, then your problem isn’t your diet… its your mind. You have gone freaking nuts. From FOXNews.com. At least in this case they were grilled, not raw. Makes all the difference in the world, huh?

Poisonous Testicles Leave 7 Sickened

via Daily Rotten Forum Experience.

blowfish-normal

TOKYO —  Seven diners in northern Japan fell ill and three remained hospitalized Tuesday after eating blowfish testicles prepared in a restaurant not authorized to serve the poisonous delicacy.

The owner of the restaurant in Tsuruoka city, who is also the chef, had no license to serve blowfish and was being questioned on suspicion of professional negligence, police official Yoshihito Iwase said.

Blowfish, while extremely poisonous if not prepared properly, is considered a delicacy in Japan and is consumed by thrill-seeking gourmets.

Iwase said the seven men ordered sashimi and grilled blowfish testicles at the restaurant Monday night.

Shortly after, they developed limb paralysis and breathing trouble and started to lose consciousness — typical signs of blowfish poisoning — and were rushed to a hospital for treatment, Iwase said.

A 68-year-old diner remained hospitalized in critical condition with respiratory failure and two others, aged 55 and 69, were in serious condition, he said.

“It’s scary. If you go to a decent-looking restaurant that serves fugu, you would assume a cook has a proper fugu license,” Iwase said, using the Japanese term for blowfish.

Blowfish poison, called tetrodotoxin, is nearly 100 times more poisonous than potassium cyanide, according to the Ishikawa Health Service Association. It can cause death within an hour and a half after consumption.

Three people died and 44 others were sickened by blowfish poisoning in 2007 — most of them after catching the fish and cooking it at home — according to the Health Ministry.

13948_512On another note: Here, in my small hometown, I saw a place called “Kelly’s Katch”. When I saw it, I finally understood what Derrick (our young friend) explained about the work he does part time… extracting “caviar” from catfish (Spoonbill).

Yes, rednecks, you didn’t realize that all those catfish you cleaned over the years and the yellow egg sack that you pull out with your fingers and throw away as fast as humanly possible is now being eaten in this country… even in Tennessee. But mostly by those high falutin’ idiots in NJ (wink, wink, GrandAmVixen and Mr G-Man)… I can almost see Z Man dining with the Italians and in his rich, pompous way, feed them paddlefish1this shit.

(No, really I cannot see Mr Z Man doing that…)

I mean, truly, WTF? Fish eggs? Bottom dweller babies?

So, I had to learn more and found that it is a specific kind of catfish-like creature, the Spoonbill. I have actually caught a few of these in my time, but never knew that the eggs (which I heard could be used for pig slop) could be used for anything… much less eating. Leave it to a Tn redneck to come up with something that now adorns the shelves of the most hooty tooty gourmet stores in this country. From Tennessee Home and Farm:

Tucked away in the West Tennessee town of Savannah, Kelly’s Katch Caviar is making quite a name for itself – and the Tennessee River.phpthumb_generated_thumbnailjpg

Co-owned by Mike and Vickie Kelley, Kelley’s Katch was one of the first small caviar producers in the nation to begin labeling its own product. And it’s been a big hit – in fact, the Wall Street Journal raved about Tennessee’s paddlefish product, naming the salty gray eggs the best caviar value in America. Today, it’s proudly displayed on the shelves of New York’s legendary Dean & DeLuca food emporium, and is snapped up by fish-egg connoisseurs looking for a more moderately priced alternative to the belugas and sevrugas.

New this year: black U.S. sturgeon roe, described as having a “rich, nutty taste.”

All of the caviar either comes from the Kelleys’ own fishing boats or is bought from local commercial fishermen, giving proof to its marketing slogan:”The Freshest in the Nation.”

For more information, visit http://www.kelleyskatch.com, or call 731-925-7360.

Now, I used to work for a Japanese company (TDK) and traveled to Japan and traveled with Japanese here on many occasions. After 7 years, one has eaten virtually anything that walks (or swims) if you are really hanging with them. On one trip, after work, around 8 engineers (only one spoke very broken English) took me to a very small mom and pop sushi shop right on the ocean in the small town of Kishikawa. We sat at a huge tatami table, all 9 of us, and the mom and pop team went to work.

I remember the Japanese guys looking at me, talking to each other, then ordering. The translator would laugh and say, they are trying to find what you will NOT like, as a joke. They brought out a soup as an appetizer that was known to be very spicy hot. The Japanese didn’t use a spoon, they just sipped the soup. I quickly finished mine and asked for a second… then noticed the approving grins from my friends… then the deviousness starter.

uniUni, or Sea Urchin eggs, raw, is one of the worst things I ever put into my mouth. It is akin to shoving shit filtered sand into your mouth and trying to chew the grit. Roe (fish eggs) is almost as bad, especially the Salmon Roe (Ikura). These damn things are big, like a pile of mini marbles stacked up on a bed of rice. When you bite into a mouthful of Salmon eggs, they pop with a salty thick snot-like fluid that I almost want to barf writing this. And someikura people like that shit???

I was not going to relent. I was going to eat any damned thing they put in front of me, just to proove a point and to garner their trust and admiration.

Let me tell you, when you can sit with a bunch of Japanese guys and eat the shit they won’t eat… you impress the hell out of them.

Don’t get me started on the Karaoke and my Elvis imitation.

I was a star!

B’Man’s Christmas Wishes: Gaseous Gorilla Gift Giving

Chessington World of Adventures recently had to deal with a King Pong of a smelly situation I linked to and wrote about last week here. Apparently Brussels sprouts cause gorillas to fart horrendously noxious gas bombs that were driving away customers, so they decided stop feeding them during open hours.

Now, since I love sprouts so much, I find this repulsive on its face, so I immediately felt something needed to be done. Before I freaked the monkey shit out on them, I read this:

Zoo keepers will now give the usual diet of vegetables, fruits, nuts and leaves during opening hours but will add the sprouts in the evenings and let them trumpet to their hearts content.

Thank goodness. At least they are going to feed them sprouts after closing hours. (Did anyone else notice the reference to a trumpet in there? Are these farts obnoxiously LOUD, as well?)

I also noted that they are going to forgo the new rules and give these gorillas a special Christmas gift.

You see, miracles DO happen at Christmas time.

1217190925451lyt5

Smell my finger

What would I do without my “News you cannot possible use“?

Freaky Sex Friday: Finger Lickin’ Good???

farmer-hansi-naked-10821034-hochtemplateidrenderscaledpropertybildheight225

Some people just gotta get their kicks in weird ways, I guess. I wonder what it is like to ‘hang out’ at the farm… especially during the winter?

German TV farmer slammed for fingering his chickens

Animal rights organisation PETA has launched an official complaint against German TV farmer Hansi – for sexually abusing chickens!

The 71-year-old contestant on the fourth series of Germany’s hit TV show ‘Bauer sucht Frau’ (‘Farmer wants a Wife’) was seen sexually stimulating his chickens with his finger. In a shocking series finale, he told his chosen partner, blonde Marianne (66) from Hamburg, “this is how they get an orgasm”.

Needless to say she was not impressed:You always hear jokes about what lonely farmers do to their animals… I am disgusted. This is not my world.” Marianne promptly packed her bags and left Hansi alone to tend to his chickens.

Along with many of the record 8.6 million other TV viewers, PETA spokesman Harald Ullmann (52) was not happy: “This behaviour is an offence and is not acceptable.” The agency has now launched an abuse complaint against the farmer.

But Hansi doesn’t see anything wrong with his chicken petting: “I do what the cockerel would usually do, only with my finger. It is like an orgasm for the chicken.”

The gruff farmer, who drinks raw eggs and sugar for breakfast, added: “Hansi is always happy when the chickens are happy.”

His other favourite pastime is walking around his farm in the nude: “Being naked is a beautiful thing.”

Yes, there are nudie pics found here. (h/t Daily Rotten) BTW: He Loves To show off his pecker.

farmer-hansi-halfnaked-chicken-10821035-hochtemplateidrenderscaledpropertybildheight225

B’Man’s Redneck Watch: Starving A Child In Mississippi To Keep A Girly Figure

Sorry for those against capital punishment, but when it comes to shit like this story, I have little sympathy for the fat bitches who starved this 4 year old child to death for a $10,000 Gerber Baby Food Life Insurance policy.

Can you imagine these two walking in to the child’s torture room and looking at the policy stuck on the wall, counting down the days until their pay-off.

Now look at the fat maniacs who obviously fed themselves very well and think about the little child that died to keep them in their fat asses.

fireshot-capture-30-police_-women-took-out-insurance-policy-on-starved-boy-local-news-story-wapt-jackson-www_wapt_com_cnn-news_17972298_detail_htmlPolice: Women Took Out Insurance Policy On Starved Boy

JACKSON, Miss. — Sheriff’s investigators in Scott County Friday night were trying to learn more about 4-year-old Austin Watkins’ starvation death.

Watkins was taken to a hospital about a year ago, police said, and detectives wonder if the claims that he was sick may have actually masked malnutrition.

The sheriff said on Friday that he’s looking over 16 WAPT’s stories, because some people to whom reporters talked may have known about the abuse and didn’t report it.

An insurance policy worth $10,000 was taken out on the boy, police said. The document was actually pinned to the wall of Watkins’ room.

The insurance policy was free from Gerber Baby Foods but would’ve paid $10,000…

Please read the entire story here and watch the WAPT News Video posted at their site. h/t Daily Rotten.

Why Do I Take HPB Meds If Farts Work?

I have an abundance of farts and they don’t lower my BP, so I question the accuracy of this study. Courtesy of Daily Rotten:

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure

By Amelia Tomas, LiveScience Staff

A smelly rotten-egg gas in farts controls blood pressure in mice, a new study finds.

The unpleasant aroma of the gas, called hydrogen sulfide (H2S), can be a little too familiar, as it is expelled by bacteria living in the human colon and eventually makes its way, well, out.

The new research found that cells lining mice’s blood vessels naturally make the gas and this action can help keep the rodents’ blood pressure low by relaxing the blood vessels to prevent hypertension (high blood pressure). This gas is “no doubt” produced in cells lining human blood vessels too, the researchers said.

“Now that we know hydrogen sulfide’s role in regulating blood pressure, it may be possible to design drug therapies that enhance its formation as an alternative to the current methods of treatment for hypertension,” said Johns Hopkins neuroscientist Solomon H. Snyder, M.D., a co-author of the study detailed in the Oct. 24th issue of the journal Science.

Snyder and his colleagues compared normal mice to mice that were missing a gene for an enzyme known as CSE, long suspected as being responsible for making hydrogen sulfide. As they measured hydrogen sulfide levels taken from tissues of the CSE-deficient mice, the scientists found that the gas was depleted in the cardiovascular systems of the altered mice. By contrast, normal mice had higher levels of the gas, thereby showing that hydrogen sulfide is naturally made by mammalian tissues using CSE.

Next, the mice were subjected to higher blood pressures comparable to serious hypertension in humans. Scientists had them respond to a chemical called methacholine that relaxes normal blood vessels. The blood vessels of the CSE-lacking mice hardly relaxed, indicating that hydrogen sulfide is a huge contender for regulating blood pressure.

Hydrogen sulfide is the most recently discovered member of a family of gasotransmitters, small molecules inside our bodies with important physiological functions.

This study is the first to reveal that the CSE enzyme that triggers hydrogen sulfide is activated itself in the same way as other enzymes when they trigger their respective gasotransmitter, such as a nitric oxide-forming enzyme that also regulates blood pressure, Dr. Snyder said.

Because gasotransmitters are common in mammals all over the evolutionary tree, these findings on the importance of hydrogen sulfide are thought to have broad applications to human diseases, such as diabetes and neurodegenerative diseases.

The research was supported by grants from the U.S. Public Health Service and the Canadian Institutes of Health Research as well as a Research Scientist Award.

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