Zen, The Pain, and Never Apologize

Yep. I have had limited postings lately. The job has been a killer of late… long hours and mega stress. Seems like I don’t have the time to read and search for the ever elusive solution to the woes I have identified.

So, today, I simply want to highlight a few posts that have stoked my interest.

First is Zen Gardner. I have read his site for many years. I generally throw out about half that he posts as too esoteric for my tastes or too David Ickeeee to be totally true. I have considered him a decent fellow, but now he tells us about his past:

Following my original wake up and getting deep into spirituality and looking for how best I could change the world, at 22 years old I joined the Children of God, later to be known as The Family. Many of my generation tried various alternative lifestyles, new religious movements and the like, most of which turned out to be cults in one form or another, as was my case. I didn’t fully escape until 1999 after many years of trying to change the group from the inside because I felt I had to give it my best shot before leaving, having invested so much of my heart and life in it and what I thought it stood for during those many years and wanting to leave with a clear conscience.

Sadly the cult descended into heavier and heavier control systems and strange doctrines and serious endemic abuse that appeared as the years progressed into the later stages. If you’ve never been in such an insular setting with heavy duty militant religious indoctrination 24/7 this may not make any sense to you.

People I talk to personally about this era of my life always ask, “Why didn’t you just leave?” A good question, but unfortunately it’s a form of mind and spirit control that convolutes your reasoning and even basic sense of ethics as the programming progresses and wraps around your mind and soul, always justified by “God’s will” and “we are the endtime spiritual revolutionaries going where others have never dared to go” in order to pioneer a new world supposedly based on the literal teachings of Jesus, updated of course by a modern prophet.

It took him 27 years to figure out it was a cult that raped children. And he was leadership within the cult. Not only leadership, but he was in charge of their “image management“.

An image manager’s job in a pedophile cult would likely involve painting a rosy picture of the cult as wholesome to the outside world.

However Zen Gardner, in a blog post titled My Missing Years, is now attempting to play the victim and blame the cult leadership – of which he was a part – for the cult’s depravities. He is attempting to downplay his personal involvement by blaming the same cult whose image it was once his job to massage.

It is unlikely that somebody who spent 27 years of their adult life in a pedophile cult, rising through the ranks to become a leader and media chief, would not have some idea of what was going on behind the scenes. That is not how cults work.

I don’t know Zen. I understand that he does not live in the USA (having moved his family to S America, I believe). Now I wonder what the motive for that exodus was.

Moving on, how many of you older folks feel the pain from arthritis or other neuropathic causes? You ruin your stomach with the over the counter stuff and your life with the prescription meds that give you heart attacks and the like. But did you know that THC can alleviate that pain, in very small doses?


We conducted a double-blind, placebo-controlled, crossover study evaluating the analgesic efficacy of vaporized cannabis in subjects, the majority of whom were experiencing neuropathic pain despite traditional treatment. Thirty-nine patients with central and peripheral neuropathic pain underwent a standardized procedure for inhaling medium-dose (3.53%), low-dose (1.29%), or placebo cannabis with the primary outcome being visual analog scale pain intensity. Psychoactive side effects and neuropsychological performance were also evaluated. Mixed-effects regression models demonstrated an analgesic response to vaporized cannabis. There was no significant difference between the 2 active dose groups’ results (P>.7). The number needed to treat (NNT) to achieve 30% pain reduction was 3.2 for placebo versus low-dose, 2.9 for placebo versus medium-dose, and 25 for medium- versus low-dose. As these NNTs are comparable to those of traditional neuropathic pain medications, cannabis has analgesic efficacy with the low dose being as effective a pain reliever as the medium dose. Psychoactive effects were minimal and well tolerated, and neuropsychological effects were of limited duration and readily reversible within 1 to 2 hours. Vaporized cannabis, even at low doses, may present an effective option for patients with treatment-resistant neuropathic pain. PERSPECTIVE: The analgesia obtained from a low dose of delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (1.29%) in patients, most of whom were experiencing neuropathic pain despite conventional treatments, is a clinically significant outcome. In general, the effect sizes on cognitive testing were consistent with this minimal dose. As a result, one might not anticipate a significant impact on daily functioning.

Big Meds and the Alcohol Industry (among others with a profit motive to keep cannabis illegal) don’t want you to know this. They want to synthesize the chemical constituents and give that to you. But it won’t work like the real deal works.

However, the alcohol industry does not make money by attempting to decrease drunk driving. As long as they can use the government to keep their competition illegal, however, they will. And, this email is evidence that they are trying to do just that.

Nothing highlights the hypocrisy, immorality, and sheer idiocy of the drug war quite like marijuana prohibition. Here we have a medicine that kills cancer cells, saves the lives of countless epileptic children, heals broken bones, relieves pain, treats PTSD, is not dangerous, and exhibits a variety of other incredible benefits – yet the state will kill you over it.

So why do these tyrants keep it illegal?

If you want to know who profits from ruining lives and throwing marijuana users in cages, we need only look at who bribes (also known as lobbies) the politicians to keep the war on drugs alive. Aside from the alcohol industry throwing money at tyrannical legislation, they are joined by law enforcement and big pharma.

Below is a list of the top five industries who need you locked in a cage for possessing a plant in order to ensure their job security.

  1. Police Unions: Coming in as the number one contributor to politicians for their votes to lock you in a cage for a plant are the police themselves. They risk taking massive pay cuts and losing all their expensive militarized toys without the war on drugs.
  2. Private Prison Corporations: No surprise here. The corporatist prison lobby is constantly pushing for stricter laws to keep their stream of tax dollars flowing.
  3. Alcohol and Beer Companies: These giant corporations hate competition, so why not pay millions to keep a cheaper and far safer alcohol alternative off the market? Case in point, the WSWA.
  4. Pharmaceutical Corporations: The hypocrisy of marijuana remaining a Schedule 1 drug, “No Medical Use Whatsoever,” seems criminal when considering that pharmaceutical companies reproduce a chemical version of THC and can market and sell it as such. Ever hear of Marinol? Big pharma simply uses the force of the state to legislate out their competition; that happens to be nature.
  5. Prison Guard Unions: The prison guard unions are another group, so scared of losing their jobs, that they would rather see thousands of non-violent and morally innocent people thrown into cages than look for another job.

Read more at http://thefreethoughtproject.com/wikilieaks-marijuana-alcohol-lobby/#KAEW5GC2J9lHiyjJ.99

How many of you still believe the reefer madness? How many would rather stop suffering? How many of you still believe these corrupt thieves and murderers that your best interest is their goal?


h/t to gaikokumaniakku

Never Apologize to the Liar Cult

If you are non-jew apologising to a jew then prepare yourself, because you will be the subject of outrageous and shrill demands from them for your various alleged ‘sins’.

You will always be held responsible for things you yourself have never done.

So don’t apologise to jews… ever.

Follow @BuelahMan


Did I rub you the wrong way or stroke you just right? Let me know below in the comments section or Email me at buelahman {AT} g m a i l {DOT} com

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10 thoughts on “Zen, The Pain, and Never Apologize

  1. What a great post. I used to correspond with Zen and we were all going to meet one day and talk but they suddenly left for South America. He told me, if I recall correctly, that he just couldn’t take the US anymore, or some such comment. We lost touch but I still catch his posts on occasion. I totally agree with your assessment of his articles. Most of his new age blithering totally puts me off.

    I had no idea he was involved in a cult and yes, their sudden departure is very strange in this light.

    As for you, young man, be glad you can work and put in a productive day, however hard. Just go home, put your feet up and have a beer. And know you’ve earned it;P You’re in construction?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know what to make of the Zen thing. He sort of came out, but didn’t seem to indicate how involved he was and to what heights within the organization he ascended.

      I dunno. He always seemed kind and could think (did good interviews).

      I am very thankful for my job. Believe me. It wasn’t that long ago I was unemployed (laid off) for several years.

      And I didn’t join a cult to get what I have achieved.


      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: M.S Swaminathan has always been an inspiration of Kiara Nirghin | vulture of critique
  3. I just posted the following on Zen Gardner’s web site [http://www.zengardner.com/a-few-replies/].

    Watch out, Zen! A mega-bucks PR firm rep — or three or a dozen, even “Madison Ave” — may call on you with offer$ in hand sooner than later. Talk about generating name recognition, a two-cycle news story, reverbs throughout “alternative media”, resounding among like-minded and nasty-minded folks alike, generating clicks, and, someone might check, GOOGLE spikes in site hits and mentions! Clinton and Trump reps may also call — can we have (purcha$e) your endorsement? Today!!

    I think Alan Watts emits, transmits, his wonderful CHUCKLE — he chuckled often as he spoke at length the Truth he had to tell, over and over and over and over — even from afar now, as he watches your latest, stupendous, magnitudinous chapter unfold. Even The Donald has cause to envy your comportment, your rhetoric (especially!), your evident peace of mind.

    Thank you for all you give, GOD bless!


    Now, why would I do that?! I know Zen Gardner by the fruits of his labor — sweet, wholesome, healthy, life-enhancing fruit, nourishes the spirit and gives one a chance to gain ascendancy over Mind. Zen Gardner offers a garden, a forum, and holds a space for like-minded folks to gather share, nurture each other. Most of us, I think, do not have a whole lot of people supporting our way of thinking, living.

    I think that you, B’Man, do likewise in your own way.

    I can imagine — do not know — that many visitors get put off by esoteric postings on Zen Gardner’s site. I happen to enjoy considering, even contemplating esoteric ideas, topics, theories. I also think that anything beLIEved is a LIE. Given personal experience, direct testing, in-depth investigation, perhaps even original research to confirm or refute — then, and only then, comes a buy-in. In the meantime, withhold judgement. Judge not, the admonition goes, lest you get back what you put out. Doubt produces only uncertainty, confusion. You go nowhere fast doubting without followup. Zen Gardner’s site exposes you and others to a whole bunch of ideas, theories, conjectures, even factual findings, you may otherwise never encounter!

    No accidents in the Universe — my chosen epitaph, should anyone think to raise a stone over my remains some day soon. Zen Gardner has demonstrated to all, without exception or selection, what telling the Truth does. May we all tell our Truth so well.


    • I think that you, B’Man, do likewise in your own way.

      Yeah. In a way.

      I purposefully did not get too critical about the story. Who knows for sure why he came out (although I guessed)? I would imagine someone told him that either he do it or they would. Why else rip the bandage off?

      And had he not acknowledged the thing to begin with, I probably would have just ignored the entire thing. But he did write about that time and I would suspect that we did not get all the truth. What is hidden? Zen never seemed like the type that would bugger kids. There is nothing that he has ever written or shared that would have led me to believe that.

      I keep anonymity for various reasons, but there are people in this world who know who I am in real life (they read here). They know that no such disturbing connections exist in my past. That I would defend with my life, the life of small children under such a threat that the Children of God showed them.

      Basically, understanding the depth of his involvement means something to some people. I want to believe him, but I find it difficult “IF” he was actually leadership and the cover man in print. That suggests a deeper knowledge.


  4. Thanks BMan, for the update on ‘Zen, the gardener’. He seemed to be one of the go-to places on the web. Turns out that he (imo) represents the idea of the 5th column (an enemy in one’s midst). Especially regarding his pushing of the flat earth gobbledygook.
    Wonder why he’s coming out now. Maybe Mr. Apocalypse and his stick at work here?


    • My intuition tells me that he was told to out himself or someone else would.

      I once attended a small no name church in a small no name town. People sort of thought it was cultish.

      When they asked me for my tax returns to prove I was tithing correctly, I was no longer a cult member. They didn’t even have to rape children and I was out. I probably would have gone postal had I found out they raped kids.


    • Howdy-do once again, MachtsNichts. Like meeting up in a European city years after our acquaintance, say, in San Francisco. I disagree with your assessment. I do not think for a moment that posting on the “hot topic du jour” — “flat earth” (I have a dear one espousing this idea, too!) — justifies your verbal description “pushing”. Nice choice of words and topic for continued defamation, though — “pushing of the flat earth gobbledgook”. Good going! Trash talk, overall, I think.

      Before that, you write this vague slam, “Turns out that he (imo) represents the idea of the 5th column (an enemy in one’s midst)”. Perhaps one of the following:
      1) The Fifth Column is a subgroup of alien Visitors in the 1980s science fiction franchise V.
      2)A clandestine subversive organization working within a country to further an invading enemy’s military and political aims.

      I feel sure you’ll answer (or not) what you really mean, a finer point or two, maybe. In the mean time (and we do live in mean times), you seem to join with Augureye (Chautauqua) and others to demean, denigrate, and destroy a man who has done — IMO — great service on behalf of tens of thousands of people. So sorry to witness. FULL DISCLOSURE: Glad I support Zen Gardner’s work and continued effort.

      I appreciate B’man’s willingness to have a cyber=space in which to discuss.


      • Howdy,

        I think the first time I ever saw Augureye (Chautauqua) was at Zen’s site. Of course, Augureye (Chautauqua) blew me out over the Flag/Civil War deal, showing colors I had no idea he owned, much less would be willing to wear with such aplomb.

        I hope my post didn’t come off as demeaning to Zen, for that was not my intent. But I did want to put this story out there so people could read the various ‘sides’ and determine for themselves what is going on.

        Like I said, I find the timing of such an outing strange. Zen didn’t say so (that I know of), but I feel like someone forced this on him. It would seem that if someone had the goods on Zen that they would come out and say it, unless some sort of bribery hanky panky going on. Lets say, for instance, that had he raped a kid, why hasn’t that kid come forward?

        Maybe Zen’s real identity is still too obscure or maybe he is totally innocent of anything like that (which I tend to agree with).

        I have featured some of Zen’s posts over the years and by and large, I get good info from his place. Some of it I just let go over my head.

        But being part of such a notorious clan is just weird for a Zen like kinda person, isn’t it? Am I a dick for wondering out loud about such a connection?

        Apparently, Zen hid it for a long time for a reason.


        • As I took Ida Lawrence’s posting concerning Zen Gardner — talk2momz, another node in cyber-space, like yours, B’Man, I consider a personal touchstone along the road of this wayfarer — I took your posting as you say you intended. Another, similar sentiment posted on ZG’s site, by Max Igan, echoes the neutral, wait-and-see, more evidence required point of view, with questions legitimate for those who pose them ( http://www.zengardner.com/max-igan-comments-zen-gardner-issue/). As I read his post, Max Igan, who reportedly left behind his co-founded creation (Full Circle Project, in which I participate[d]) due to that group’s aggressively negative stand toward ZG, leans toward giving ZG the benefit of any residual doubt.

          The trashing of the man, however, seems beyond the pale to me, and Chautauqua exemplifies that group of those weighing in that way to this “event”. Clearly, those who hurl stones have no sin, right? I suspect Zen Gardner, a soul like the rest of us with a couple of monikers, will land on his feet and carry on nicely, thank ye very much, perhaps achieving a virtual or real pinnacle far above the success he has made and deserved to date. Perhaps I be too simplistic here, AND I do believe that “by their fruits ye shall know them”.

          That ZG spent decades with the COG speaks highly to a man with persistence and patience and a will to good, as much as it tells others he was complicit in all the sins and crap associated — perhaps misinformedly — with that “cult”. Having involved myself in what others call “cults”, I can relate not so much to the longevity of his service but to his firmness of conscious commitment that evolves with participation in insular groups.

          My own favorite cults, lest anyone thinks I conceal my own “sordid” past: The Holy Order of MANS (HOOM, still with a “presence” on the web, if not functionally active “on this plane”, as former members might say) and est, Werner Erhard’s [not his given name either!] creation, morphed after his departure under a cloud to The Forum. [NOTE: I lasted about three minutes with Scientology, maybe an hour with a gaggle of Hare Krishnas.] So, to those so inclined, sue me, hang me, vilify me, if you will. Still, I got to where I am — and I’d fly a large, Confederate battle flag in an instant, given the right instigation and appropriate inspiration! — because I took all the steps along my journey. And I take personal and individual responsibility for each and every step — Werner could take pride in his past work knowing I did just that!


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